"We can't make every life situation better, but we can certainly make any situation worse." Maryann Driscoll, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology at Touro College School of Health Science in New York.

According to Dr. Driscoll, the key concepts in stress reduction are control, challenge and commitment.

Control is taking advantage of the choices we have. We need to get educated, get together and get organized. Get educated to understand what is happening to us and find what helps control the situation. Get together with others, for distraction, to find out how they cope, and to have someone to listen and understand our situation. Getting organized is a prelude to getting busy.

Challenge has to do with viewing the situation in a problem solving way. Instead of sitting back and just "awful-izing" (dwelling on the negatives) we should spend our energy looking for ways to improve things even a little.

Commitment to something larger than ourselves is a concept which has many benefits. Some people use spiritual avenues (religion), volunteerism or activism (an organization or cause). Even activities such as art and exercise will work.

"People live longer when they pull themselves our of themselves." She said. She suggested books by James Gordon, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Belleruth Naperstek and Dr. Andrew Weil.

Terry Wolinsky. McDonald, Ph.D., a Clinical Psychologist in private practice in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania says the stages of grief come into play when a diagnosis of pemphigus or pemphigoid is made.

The anger that follows the denial stage can paralyze or mobilize a patient and mobilization is healthier. By being informed and an active participant in the treatment decisions, a patient gains a degree of control and confidence.

"Ask questions: No question is too small or too big; and don’t passively accept answers. Learn to trust your instinct; this is your body and your life. Ask for second opinions, and ask your local doctor to consult with the experts in the field, who tend to be very generous with their time and expertise. Being able to trust and recognize quality of care will be critical for you on this journey."

McDonald suggest seriously considering going to a mental health professional. This person may be a counselor, social worker or psychologist. Finding a good match is important and may take several attempts. She suggests asking friends, family or physicians for recommendations. Insurance companies may also have a list of special therapists.

"The therapist you choose will likely not be familiar with your particular disease, but a comfortable, trusting climate will foster positive change, allowing you to better understand and cope with overwhelming issues when they arise," she says. "The therapist should be able to work with you in the “here and now” and go back to the “there and then” when necessary, to heal old wounds."

McDonald suggest the book "When Bad Things Happen To Good People" by Harold S. Kushner and "Living Well with Autoimmune Disease" by Mary J. Shomon.